Broken Promises & Screaming � Feb. 05, 2002
I Feel

I broke my promise to myself with good reason. I came home from class and I found out that my mother went into the emergency room. I didn't even know what was wrong until I got home from work and then they told me that she had severely bruised ribs (if you've ever seen my mother, she is a very little woman. She's 5'4" and weighs about 94 lbs.) because when my brother lifted her up at my colorguard show on Saturday, he must of lifted her wrong or something because that is what it is from. They have her on very strong pain medication right now. I also spent a majority of my evening last night at Sean and Thayne's house after work and when I came home, I just went to sleep. I even forgot to call Brandon back for the second time, after I promised him up and down that I would and now all of this. I feel so horrible. I am lucky if he even talks to me again since this is the second time in two days that I have blown him off. *shrugs* I hate when I do this. I really need to learn how to manage my time better because I am obviously not doing a very good job of it. I have a monster sized to do list and I know I will never get half of it done. I must though. I can force myself to do the little things. If I can do that, then I can do anything. I have rehearsal tonight and I would like to get at least some of my homework done before I have to leave so I am going to make this very very short. By the way, in three days it will be 2 months exactly since Chris broke up with me. I talked to him last night for a few minutes. Nothing was really said. I just tried to be .. well indifferent, but we all know that that doesn't happen when it comes to me talking to Chris. I just stayed supportive and cheery, but on the inside, I was screaming. I have to run.