Going To Texas � 05.27.03
I Feel

Okay so my disappearance has come to an end. Don't question about why I disappeared because I won't say a word. Just know that everything is fine now. Well it's sort of fine. Let me explain a little. These past few days certainly have been eventful. First off, I would like to publically announce that Alex & I are together. I have been purposely witholding that information for personal reasons of my own that I will not mention. Those of you who did not pick it up in my biography page a while ago should start paying more attention. So anyways, yes, we are together, and I couldn't be happier. Now, there is a little glitch in that happy little thing but I'm getting to that. Thursday night Alex went into the hospital because he was experiencing pain and he was worried. Friday night he had a seizure and they did a CAT scan and found out that there is a spot on his brain. Now this worries me. Tomorrow they are doing a biopsy to find out if it is cancer or not. I am praying my hardest that it is not. But, if it is, we will just deal with it one day at a time. Next Thursday he is having brain surgery to remove the spot. I am flying to Texas this Friday in order to be there for him. I have never flown before. This is going to be interesting. When he was in the hospital, Amber asked me to create a get better webpage for him. So I did. Every Now & Then. . . Go there, read the letters, sign the guestbook, do whatever. Okay so enough with the technical stuff. It's time to play "Get Into Christi's Mind!!" *crowd cheers*

So now, without the risk of someone questioning my feelings for Alex being around, I am going to actually express to the world what I have been secretly hiding for a while. First & foremost, I love Alex. Screw you all who say that I don't because you don't know what's going on inside my head. The reason I never told him I had feelings for him was because he wasn't over that psycho-bitch Jodi. I didn't want to complicate things for him. And, why did I never mention this before in my diary? Simple. He reads my diary. His best friend & sister have the link to it as well, along with God only knows how many other people. I just didn't want to complicate things. Onward into more of the depths of my mind! Alex wants me to move in with him for the rest of the summer in Texas. I told him I would have to get a job because I still have bills to pay, and he said that I could work as his executive assistant at his company. We are still working out the details. Honestly, I'd be fine with it as long as he and I could still come back here like two or three weekends so I can spend some time with my family and friends. I'm sure he wouldn't mind that. But, before we go through with this little plan, he'd have to meet the rents, and soon! I think I am going to run this by Mither in the morning. I'm not exactly sure what she's going to say, but oh well, shit happens. Now what are my friends going to think? Well, to be honest, I don't care what they think because I am following my heart and they don't give two shits about spending time with me right now or being there for me when I need them so why the hell should I care if they don't want me moving there? Let me explain this a bit. When I called Holly Friday morning to tell her about Alex, she basically blew me off. Roger broke up with Amber the night before. She told me that she'd have to call me back because she wanted to make sure Amber was okay. Okay?? Amber's boyfriend broke up with her. Mine was in the hospital having seizures. Who do you think she should be checking up on more????? And no, she never did call me back that day. So, how peachy do you think that made my mood at the time? Not too good if you can only imagine me with veins popping out of my head. So yeah, I don't give a shit what my friends think right now. They can fuck themselves for all I care until they start attempting to spend time with me. You know what? Fuck this! I'm moving to Texas for the summer! Hmm ... note to self: force my doctor to sign the form to let me get my license already! I'm not having seizures right now. Let me drive! Yes, that's it. I'm going to Texas.