Tiger � 03.13.03
I Feel

Tiger died last night about an hour after I got home. Holly and Amber came to get me because they could make it to Indiana before my family could. I had to watch my best friend in the whole entire world die. The vet said that his lungs were filled with fluid, his kidneys were deteriorated, and he had tumors on both his lungs, kidneys, and possibly other places. It was certain that he would die within the next week or so even if they did give him antibiotics. If he wasn't on antibiotics, they didn't think he would live through the night. He didn't. There aren't words to explain how depressed I am right now. I was hysterical last night. I shouldn't have watched my cat die. I've had him for as long as I can remember and now he is gone. Last night when I was sitting in the computer room all by myself I swear I heard him meow. But that was impossible. He is dead and there is nothing I can do to bring him back. My father spent the day crying and drinking heavily. I honestly believe that he was more attached to Tiger than I was. My father birthed that cat and he died in his arms. I just wish I knew what to do or say. This has been the most absolute week from hell. My boyfriend breaks up with me on Monday and on Wednesday I start having seizures and my cat dies. My life fucking sucks. I just wish everyone would let me crawl in a hole and die.