Not Just Some 17-Year Old Girl � Dec. 27, 2001
I Feel

I just want to scream to the world that I am not just some dumb 17-year old girl. I don't think like a 17-year old girl and I don't act like one. (well save a few select moments) If this is true, then why on Earth does everyone treat me like one? I think that with all I have been through, I at least deserve a little bit of respect. I had to grow up way too fast and now here I am, trying to at least live a little bit of my childhood while I still can. I just wish that the world would realize that I am not a child. You can't just blow me off and not think anything of it. I have feelings, I have thoughts, I have words, I have emotions. I do have a brain, and I do know how to use it. I am not afraid to be who I am and if someone doesn't like it, they should tell me, not just hang up on me and forget about it. I am not easily forgotten, nor do I ever intend on being. All I ask is that people start treating me like an adult. *sighs* Why does it always seem like I am venting in here? I hate putting my burdens on everyone else, but it is the only thing that I can think of to do other than explode. I guess that exploding in here is better than exploding in real life. Perhaps.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, every chance I get to start over in my life, I blow. Sometimes I don't even know what I did. I wish that I would just start thinking before I speak. Then maybe people would start taking me seriously and treat me like an adult. Wait a second here, most adults don't think before they speak, why should I have to? I guess that is the price I have to pay for being young. No respect, no consideration, and no sympathy. Then again, I never asked for sympathy to begin with. I just feel bad for every other 17-year old girl out there who is just like me, about to break out of her shell, and explode into the world. Maybe if we all do it at once we can be a force to be reckoned with. That would be amusing.

I took the face mask off and put on my stress relief stuff and now my face feels wonderful. I wish the rest of me could feel wonderful, but then again, I am just a dumb 17-year old girl, right?