Coin Toss � 03.20.03
I Feel

So we went to war last night. And I watched it on television with my sorority. What fun! (note the sarcasm) Tonight I have to help out with PSSLC's Iraq Discussion Panel and then we have a mixer with Pi Lams. That should be fun. I always have fun there. I like the brothers. And, the big thing is that I don't have to be sober sister for this one. Yay!! The last time I was at an actual Pi Lam mixer I was sober sister and that's where I met Brian. God do I wish I was drunk that night. My life would have been a lot easier because if I were drunk I would have never let him come back to my room that night after we all walked home. I would have insisted more that I could make it across our hall by myself instead of deciding that I would like the company. If I had been drunk I would have been exhausted and would have just went to sleep instead of staying up all night with him. If only I hadn't lost the coin toss that night my life would have been easier. It's funny how major events in your life can be controlled by the outcome of a coin toss with your Big to decide who's being sober that night. I wonder if she realizes that if she would have been sober sister for me that night, it would have saved me a lot of grief and heart ache. Well even still, I am not going to bring it up to her because she will feel awful about it. I don't want to make her feel bad about that night because she won the coin toss. That would just be mean of me and I love my Big. She's the greatest. I still don't feel very well today and I am still very stressed out so I am going to keep this short. I can hardly read my own handwriting. I have been hand writing my entries for the past few days because my computer has been acting very strangely and I just haven't felt like dealing with it. It's just one more thing to add to my stress.