Crap � 11.26.02
I Feel

I took a sabbatical of sorts from writing in my diary because I got sick and tired of writing crap. Pure crap. I lost my inspiration. I have been searching the last two hours for that inspiration and I have found nothing, sadly. I am not even sure what has happened to me. I have lost the will to write, to sing, to dance, to do everything. I know that deep down there is something wrong with me and I cannot figure out what that is. I fear I never will.

My period is late. This has been freaking me out. My friends have been telling me that it is just stress, or the fact that I stopped taking my birth control due to freaky side affects, but I am still worried. If I am pregnant it is Shaun's. He is the only person I have slept with in the past two months. I already told him and he freaked. I just want my freaking period to come. I can't be pregnant. That will ruin my entire life. Or at least my plans for the future. Oh hell why must my life be filled with drama?

I can't even think of what to write right now. My mind is that jumbled. I got into my sorority on Wednesday night. I'm now a sister so that's cool. And I was with Jada at Eat-n-Park last night and guess who I ran across. Bryan Winter. I haven't seen him in ages. He wants me to call him tomorrow. I called him today but he was going to bed. Why on earth do I have such a messed up sleep schedule? I am talking to Matt Day right now. Talk about a week of meeting up with old friends. I just realized that I am doing the exact same thing that I stopped writing because of. I am writing about crap. Once I find some inspiration to write something with meaning I will write more. Until then, you get to deal with crap.