Dear Matt... � Apr. 26, 2002
I Feel

Dear Matt,

I am not really sure what the hell I am doing but that is okay, you won't read it anyway. I don't want to feel the way that I do right now. I don't want to feel like you are losing interest. I want to be in your arms so badly that I can't even explain it in words. I just miss you terribly and I don't know what to do. This next week will seem like an eternity. It already is one. My brother told me that you called while I was in the shower.. but he didn't say it was you. He just said that "some guy" called. I knew it was you because he asked for Christina. I don't know if you are planning on calling back or not, so I am going to go out with Holly to a party instead of wasting my evening, wondering if you are going to call back. I don't sit by the phone and wonder if people are going to call. I am just not like that. I take control of my own life and I wasn't about to sit at home, depressing myself even more. So, with that, I am going to go out with my friends, get drunk, and celebrate the fact that I am a bitch, and no one can love me.