Happy With Me � 10.28.02
I Feel

Well it has been confirmed who the person who has been trashing me in my guestbook is but I refuse to give their name. A friend helped me straighten this out. I want to thank that friend. I am not going to name their name either because that will give the person away. So anyways, I don't feel like talking about that right now.

I was reading old diary entries today and I got a feeling of nostalgia. It was really really nice to be able to look back on my mistakes and laugh hysterically. And yes, I was laughing. Strangely enough. I also realized that was the purpose of this diary. I wanted to have a way to be able to look back on my life, any time I pleased, and see what I have done. To see how I have grown. And boy have I grown as a person since Chris and I broke up almost a year ago. That is when this chapter of my diary was started. In December. After Chris and I had broken up. And then I thought that I would never be able to mention his name or read stuff that happened in our relationship and not get sad. Well today I was not sad. Today I was grateful because if he hadn't broken up with me, I would not be the person I am today. Who knows what I would have been today. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing, but I will never know so right now, I am just happy with who I am. I really am. And I am glad that I am able to say that. There was one point in my life when I was not happy with who I was. Not even close. But today, I am just happy with me. I don't have to change myself for anyone and that makes me ... content. I know I am over using happy so I am coming up with different words. Oh well, that was a little rambling for tonight.

I didn't really get a chance to talk to Tim today because apparently he came back and signed off line while I was in the basement doing laundry. Damn laundry that takes an hour and a half.. *grumble mumble* Shaun asked me to stay over his place tonight but I told him I had things I had to do. I don't know why I told him no.. I just don't want that kind of relationship with him right now. I am not sure if I have feelings for him at all more than a friend so I am just going to keep things simple for now. I got a chance to talk to Adam for a few minutes tonight. Nothing was really eventful with that either. Needless to say, this has been a very boring evening. Tomorrow is a busy day. If you are a girl and you go to IUP, Theta Phi Alpha is having open rush tomorrow night, Tuesday night, and Wednesday night at 9:15 in Turnbull Basement. Come! It will be fun. Well with all that I am going to go to bed.