Happy Fucking Holidays � Dec. 21, 2001
I Feel

So I am so fucking pissed off right now that it isn't even funny. First off, I was definately going to Seven Springs with Tim tomorrow, he was going to pick me up tomorrow. Well, Ash didn't like the fucking idea so she went and told my mother. How dare she??!! I really can't take my friends intervining with my life anymore. Why the hell can't they all just let me live my own fucking life? I am a big girl. I can take care of myself. So why the hell won't people let me? And I really do like Tim, a lot. A lot more than I probably should, but I don't know, we just sort of clicked. He just says the sweetest things and he always makes me laugh and he doesn't seem like he has a care in the world. I don't know what to do!! I mean, I had asked him if he wanted a serious relationship last night and he said that he would answer me after how this weekend went. We can't find out if I am not up there! I am about to cry right now and I am going to seriously flip out on Ashleigh. Just because she doesn't think that something is a good idea. God, just because she wanted to do something this weekend and I told her that I already made plans... she had to go and fuck them up. I want to cry. I really do. Why can't I just live my own life? Why won't my friends let me get over Chris? I know that if I get interested in new people, I will get over him and I can live my life normally again but I can't possibly explain that to my friends. They just don't understand. I have tried to tell them over and over and over again and they just don't freaking listen. I just wish that people would understand where I am coming from. I am sorry that I haven't written in a long while but I have sort of been in a Tim daze. I mean, he is just amazing. But now I am not going to get to spend any time with him this weekend because he is skiing and I am not there. Happy fucking holidays.