Mutated Squirrels � 02.19.03
I Feel

I finally gave Brian the link to my diary. I am not sure if that was a good idea or not. Oh well I guess he's going to find out all the bad stuff in my life sooner or later so I presume it's easier for him to read about it rather than me actually spilling the beans about stuff.

I realized last night in the wee hours of the morning that my grandmother died one year ago yesterday. The 18th. I feel awful because I completely forgot about it. I actually started to cry, which I hate doing, let alone in front of my boyfriend. I am not sure if I forgot about the exact date as a defense tool, which is perfectly possible because my brain works strangely like that, or if I just am that ignorant. I would like to believe the former of the two because my grandmother's death effected me greatly. I was at a loss for a very long while and in some instances I still believe that I am. I would like to believe that I have grown from the experience but to be honest, I don't think I have. That hole hasn't been filled in this past year and I don't think that it ever will. I am not going sit and write about it though because that will just depress me and I don't need that.

I am beginning to think that we have deer that run through the Governer's Quad at night because when I was walking back from Psychology today I noticed deer-like tracks all through the snow and it wasn't near any actual human footprints. What is strange about it though is that there was only one line of tracks. Normally you would see two but no, there was only one. I have no clue what it was and it couldn't have been the squirrels unless they somehow mutated. That would be very scary. Mutated squirrels isn't something I would like to see. Especially in Indiana. God only knows what could have happened to them.

It's starting to snow yet again in Indiana. Big surprise. It always snows here. I hate it. I absolutely hate this hic town. I will be very estatic when Spring Break arrives because that means that I can sleep as long as I want for an entire week. I need that week to sleep. I really do. My body is starting to shut itself down again and if I don't do something soon something bad is going to happen. It wouldn't be cool if I got mono again. No, no it definitely wouldn't be. On that note I am going to take a nap, even though I swore that I wasn't going to. Oh well that's life. Deal with it. I do.