My Sanity � 12.08.02
I Feel

Someone pulled the fire alarm at 6:30 a.m. and now I can't fall back asleep. I hate idiots. So here I am, writing.

Thya sent me an email yesterday telling me that I wasn't re-opening Naked Reviews. I was rather offended at the pissy tone that radiated off of that email. I emailed Tiara and she is trying to figure things out, although when I was reading Tiara's reply last night I was fairly intoxicated so I am going to have to read it again. I don't see what Thya's problem is with me re-opening Naked Reviews. Maybe if someone could explain that to me I wouldn't be so pissed. Well that and the fact that someone I considered a friend, even though we don't talk very much anymore, was so harsh to me. She sent me an apology email of sorts but considering the fact that I was near tears when I read her first email because of the tone of it (I've been moody lately. I can't explain it) an apology email just didn't make me feel any better.

Argh. I hate this. When I was laying in bed memories of Adam were coming back to me. I don't want to constantly sound like an angst ridden teenager in my diary all the time, as that is what I always seem to do, but I guess this is my only way to get all of my thoughts off my mind. My sanity really. Before I started keeping a diary online, I never really had a way to get all of my emotions out. I know that my life is never going to be happily ever after and maybe that isn't what I want. Maybe I just need someone to lift this load from my shoulders. The terrible thing is, I don't know what that load quite is yet. There are so many things that I want to say to certain people and I don't know how to say them or when I am ever even going to get a chance to say them. But I know that someday, somehow I must get all of this out. But for now, this diary is my sanity and I guess that's how it's just going to have to stay.