Not How I Planned � 02.22.03
I Feel

Ugh I really didn't want to crawl out of bed today. But alas, I have obligations to fulfill and I will do them damnit. Brian just left. I just wanted to stay in bed with him all day and all night but I can't. I have to help at the water polo tournament today and then it's time for the date party, which is sure to be a blast. I hate how weekends go so fast. Especially since Brian and I probably aren't going to have sex tonight because we are going to be drunk and even if we do have sex tomorrow it's always better when we know that we don't have to get up before noon. Lately we haven't really been doing much. Should I be worried? I honestly feel like we are married. I always see him. Not that it bothers me but I am afraid that we are just going to get stuck in this rut where we don't have sex and we just stay in and watch television every night. I don't want our relationship to be like that. I really don't. I love our sex life. I love how much he turns me on when I see him. I just love going out to parties with him and him getting silently protective when other guys flirt with me. I love being with him but I am afraid that if we get too comfortable it will be like we are just best friends and there will be no romantic feelings at all. I just don't want things to turn out like that. That won't be how I planned things in my head at all.