Out of My Mind � September 11, 2002
I Feel

Today has been one of those days where I just beat myself up. I just feel like absolute utter shit. Shaun and I are discussing last night and frankly, I would just like to forget it. I realize now that I was depressed and I compensated for it with him. I feel bad. I really do. And I've told him this and he keeps telling me not to worry about it and I am trying not to.

I tried to have a conversation with Sharalyn and she was acting very cold to me and then said she had to go. I wonder what the hell I did. She was fine with me when Adam broke up with me and now she won't talk to me? That is a wee bit strange if you ask me. So I have decided that I am just not going to talk to her anymore. Oh well. No big loss.

I am so busy right now that I can't even think straight. I guess that doesn't help with all the stress and depression that I am experiencing. It makes me want to scream. I am working on a new layout every moment that I get because I hate this one. It's not badly done, I just don't like it because it depresses me. This new one is going to be unlike anything I have ever done. I am actually pleased with the image. I really am. I don't know when I will get this done but I hope that I do it soon so the world can see my work. I will be less stressed when that gets done. Then I am going to work on reviews so we can close Naked Reviews down and then I am going to open Disorderly Reviews. It's all good. I will get all of this done sooner or later. If only I could stop thinking about Adam. I want him out of my mind.