Spinning � 11.11.02
I Feel

Okay so what time did I fall asleep? 7:00 in the fucking morning!! Yes, I skipped my first two classes. I will go to the last one. There was no way my body was getting up an hour and a half after I fell asleep. And even then when I tried to wake up at noon to go to my second class, my body told me to fuck off. I have to be up at like 6:00 in the morning tomorrow because I have to do something with my sorority at 8:00. Tell me how much that blows ass. Wow, I am in a really bad mood right now. And I am trying to analyze Shaun's away message and well I am not sure if I want to or not. He wanted me to stay over again last night but I just said that I was busy because well.. I am not sure how soon after we have three huge fights in a row that I want to sleep over there. Yesterday I knew that he was trying to intentionally piss me off (this was before he apparently read the away message apology_ when I went to the Greenhouse because on my way there, he saw me and he was with Amanda & Jason and the minute he saw me he grabbed Amanda's hand. Here's me thinking "No... I didn't notice that you were only holding her hand when you saw me... rriigghhtt..". So anyways it did get under my skin a little but I am not going to tell him that. All right, maybe more than a little bit considering I came home and was pissed off beyond belief. Perhaps that is just because I let it fester for about an hour in my brain before I even said anything to anyone. I hate when I do this to myself. I don't even think I am interested in him like that and yet I let little things bother me. I think I am more bothered that he wants to get under my skin, than by the fact that he actually is. Maybe that's just what is getting under my skin to begin with. This whole thing could be nothing and I am just freaking out over it. I think I've lost my mind. I just have too many guys in my life right now. Hell I need to cut down.. first there's Harry.. oh Harry what am I going to do with you? I think I am just infatuated with him beyond belief. And then there's Shaun, who I am sleeping with. He's the only one I am sleeping with. Then there's Nick from home who definitely seems interested in me from our conversation that we had last night, but then again what else is new? Then there's my ongoing infatuation with Tim. I get to see him this weekend. He's the reason I am going home. Four is a little much for my brain to be thinking about right now. Especially with my strange and unusual sleeping patterns that I have developed lately. I think I am going to pick up some sleeping pills today because I need to get to bed very early tonight. I need to get sleep tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be a very very long day. And I have to start going to my classes again. I am almost done. Two more freaking weeks. I can't just blow off all of my classes. That is just a very very bad thing and I can't believe I've started doing that. I need to cut down on the partying and actually start going to class. I am here to learn. I can have fun later. God there are so many changes in my life that I have to make right now that my head is spinning.