Strip Clubs � 01.07.03
I Feel

Tony finally called me around seven or so. I was happy to hear from him. He was at his other job that I didn't know about. He didn't want to tell me at first for fear that I might respect him less but I assured him that whatever it was, I would be fine with it. He doesn't know me well enough to know just how many drug dealers I used to date and how I was apart of the inner circle of a drug ring for three years of my life. They still consider me apart of it, I am just never around anymore. That was sort of my way of getting out of all of that. Going away to school. I still chill with them occassionally though when I am back in town but it gets to be a problem because I don't actually live in that town anymore. So anyways, I went off on a tangent there. No, Tony does not deal drugs. Not to my knowledge anyway. He manages a strip club. He thought that I would not have as much respect for him because well it's a strip club, and an all nude strip club at that. It doesn't make me think any less of him though. He is still a good person and that is where my respect for him is derived from. Not what he does for a living. It's an interesting combination though. A high school teacher and the manager of a strip club. I wonder if his students know. I imagine that some of the guys in that school know for obvious reasons. I had fun talking to him while he was there.

"You need to come here so you can get a lap dance."

"Excuse me? Tony, why the fuck would I want a lap dance from a woman?"

"I think you would enjoy it."

Sure I would.

Yeah.. right.

So we talked for a bit and he said he was going to call me when he gets home. He also requested to talk to my mother, which struck me as an odd request but I let him anyway. Apparently he told my mother that she did a great job as a mother because I turned out amazing. That made me blush a little bit. I think she likes him. For once, she likes someone that I am interested in. This could be a plus. Maybe she won't react as bad as I am expecting when I tell her that I am going to New York to visit him. Maybe I won't have to lie to her when I go on Spring Break. I am very near to making the decision of going to New York to be with him over Spring Break instead of going to Panama City with Kelly. Almost near. I haven't really made a definite decision yet. And I also haven't decided whether or not I would want to stay in a hotel or at his place. He wants me to come up. Or so he says. I am not on that complete trust level with him yet. That is going to take time considering my history with guys. I can't trust them for shit right now. Oh well I don't know why I am worrying about Spring Break right now when it's not until March.

Shit I just looked at the school webbie to find out that Spring Break is March 1 - 9. That's closer than I thought. Shit shit shit.

Okay so maybe I have to make a decision fairly soon because I have to let Kelly know if I am going or not because we would have to make hotel reservations and what not. Damnit to hell I hate my life. There's too much for me to do. I need about 30 hours in a day instead of 24.

Enough of that. I decided that I am going to tell Tony about the dream tonight. I don't know what I am going to say or how he is going to react. I am still pretty weirded out about it myself still. Thank you Gem for the reassuring comment in my guestbook about the dream. I hope that it was just a dream. I don't have any gut feelings about this one, which bothers me. Normally I can ususally see if there is any validity to the content of my dreams but not this one. My mind has left me in the dark here and I don't like it one bit. On that note I am going to make some tea to keep my ass up and work on my novel.