Used � 01.27.03
I Feel

My world came crashing down again last night. I hate my life. Let me explain.

I slept with Brian last night. Yes, I had sex with him. It just happened. And to make it worse, we didn't use protection. Please shoot me now. But oh no, it gets worse. Afterwards he comes out with this story about how the friend he went to see last night was a girl that he is interested in and he really wants to be with her but she lives so far away and she is graduating this semester and blah blah blah. By this point I was staring at him blankly wondering where the hell all of this came from. Eventually he left and I sat in my bed, staring at the wall, shocked.

I was shocked.

What else is there to say? I ended up crying myself to sleep and I only slept for about half an hour before I had to get up to go to class. Well I decided that I couldn't drag myself out of bed to face the world, the little slut that I have become, so I slept through my first two classes. I eventually went to Psychology but that is only because we have an exam on Friday and I want to make sure that I have all the notes for it. I just want to scream and cry right now. I want to throw him out a three story window. I want to do something but I can't. There is nothing to do. Absolutely nothing. I mean what is there really do to when someone that you actually started to have a twinge of compassion for uses you for sex? And no matter what he says, he fucking used me. He knew about this situation and I was clueless. I am just so pissed right now. I have to go to rush now.. yet another very short entry.